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calculation of a fall
to find in order to lose, to fall in order to stand up.
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User: [info]iron_fans
Name: Suki
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12th-Nov-2008 02:03 pm
let the fire burn
[Private//readable due to event]

I really thought I was alright, but...maybe not. Maybe I'm just a little spooked, or something, but...things feel different. More than I thought they would, at least. Then again, I can't really say I've ever died before now, so it's hard to know what to expect, right?...

Sometimes it feels like when I go to sleep I might not wake up.

...You know, it feels kind of silly, but writing these things down really does help. Gets it out of my head, I guess.
Comments 
12th-Nov-2008 07:26 pm (UTC)
[info]skybound_love
...It's not something people would normally grow used to anyway.
12th-Nov-2008 08:14 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
...

Let me guess, I messed up when I was filtering that, right?
12th-Nov-2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
[info]skybound_love
No can seems to be able to. Don't worry about it. Must be a system error.

Are you alright?
13th-Nov-2008 12:10 am (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
And here I thought a few people were just doing it wrong. Serves me right, doesn't it?

I'm not exactly sure...maybe if I just focus on training for a while I think I'll be alright.
13th-Nov-2008 12:50 am (UTC)
[info]skybound_love
Suki, I know a lot about pain. Physical pain you can train through, but not inner pain. If you don't talk to someone about it, sooner or later it's going to explode.
13th-Nov-2008 01:47 am (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
Yeah...you're right, I know. I guess some things are just hard to talk about.
13th-Nov-2008 01:59 am (UTC)
[info]skybound_love
Hm. True. However, if you feel the need, Johnny will always listen to the burdens of a maiden's heart.
13th-Nov-2008 04:32 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
...Does Johnny always offer to help in the third person?

I'll remember that, though. Thank you.
12th-Nov-2008 07:34 pm (UTC)
[info]andsarcasmguy
Wait--

What?! Suki, you--How did I--

You.. died?!
12th-Nov-2008 08:17 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
Sokka--!?

...I didn't think anyone could read that.
13th-Nov-2008 06:25 pm (UTC)
[info]andsarcasmguy
No, I--didn't mean to--

.. do you wanna go for a walk?
13th-Nov-2008 07:12 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
It's not-- don't worry about it, it was an accident.

...I'd like that, yeah. Where are you?
12th-Nov-2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
[info]dothefusion
That stops after a while.
12th-Nov-2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
It sounds like you speak from experience.
12th-Nov-2008 09:49 pm (UTC)
[info]dothefusion
Ummm, a little bit? I was only seven, so I don't remember if I did anything but I know it goes away after a while. Or that could just be because my attention span was really short.
13th-Nov-2008 12:11 am (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
Seven?! Oh, wow, that's... It seems like it'd be a lot to handle, if you're that young.

((oh my god that icon xDDD))
13th-Nov-2008 12:13 am (UTC)
[info]dothefusion
Nah, weird stuff happens in my family all the time. Besides, you bounce back good at that age, kids are tough little bastards sometimes.


[[♥~]]
13th-Nov-2008 01:22 am (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
Sounds like your world is a pretty interesting place. That's true though, I bet every kid has their share of injuries.
13th-Nov-2008 02:47 am (UTC)
[info]dothefusion
"Interesting" is one way to put it. But you'll be fine! Just give yourself some time and you'll be completely okay.
13th-Nov-2008 04:35 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
How would you put it then? And I will, thanks.
14th-Nov-2008 07:02 am (UTC)
[info]dothefusion
"Charmingly unique."
14th-Nov-2008 09:37 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
Alright, that works for me. It might be a good description for my world too, actually.
12th-Nov-2008 08:56 pm (UTC)
[info]whitenoisenurse
This might be too personal, but what was it like for you?
13th-Nov-2008 12:19 am (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
For me?... I don't entirely remember. I got ambushed by monsters, and I remember a little pain, but then...nothing until I woke up. Why?
12th-Nov-2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
[info]inner_sandman
...Did you just die recently?
13th-Nov-2008 12:38 am (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
Oh...yeah. I guess it was about a week ago by now.
13th-Nov-2008 12:38 am (UTC)
[info]inner_sandman
...I'm sorry.

What happened?
13th-Nov-2008 01:07 am (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
It wasn't your fault, don't worry about it.

Were you here when the exploding monsters attacked? I think someone called them "heaven smiles".
13th-Nov-2008 01:11 am (UTC)
[info]inner_sandman
Yes. I fought a few of them.
13th-Nov-2008 01:48 am (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
Well...that's how it happened. I let myself get cornered.
13th-Nov-2008 02:16 pm (UTC)
[info]inner_sandman
You shouldn't have fought them alone.
13th-Nov-2008 04:36 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
I know. I didn't have much of a choice at the time.
13th-Nov-2008 04:45 pm (UTC)
[info]inner_sandman
I see.

Are you staying in a safe place now?
13th-Nov-2008 08:42 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
The apartments seem relatively safe, if not completely...I'm not sure there is a completely safe place here, really.
14th-Nov-2008 02:35 pm (UTC)
[info]inner_sandman
There is safety in numbers. If you have allies around, your chance of survival is higher.
14th-Nov-2008 09:56 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
Yeah, I definitely agree. There's nothing to worry about though, I don't plan on letting myself get into that situation again.
14th-Nov-2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
[info]inner_sandman
Good. Take care of yourself.
12th-Nov-2008 11:20 pm (UTC)
[info]tenkai_soul
...no one should ever grow used to death, Lady Suki.
13th-Nov-2008 12:38 am (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
"Lady"? Just Suki is fine.

I agree, but in the end maybe it's luckier to die in a place like this, where it's not permanent.
13th-Nov-2008 01:50 am (UTC)
[info]tenkai_soul
Sorry, formality is a habit of mine.

That...is debatable. It cheapens death.
13th-Nov-2008 04:42 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
Don't worry about it. I'm just not really used to that much formality, I guess.

It does, I agree. But there's still a lot I want to do at home, so I'm grateful.
14th-Nov-2008 02:39 am (UTC)
[info]tenkai_soul
I can see that as well, just...

I don't know...
14th-Nov-2008 10:01 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
I think it's really tough to decide what you feel in this sort of situation.
14th-Nov-2008 06:15 am (UTC)
[info]onceahuman
I can't even imagine what it must've felt like... But you're right, writing about things like that really does help you feel better!

Are you feeling better? At all...?
14th-Nov-2008 10:03 pm (UTC)
[info]iron_fans
Well, I hadn't exactly planned on the writing being visible to everyone, but...it really did.

I'm not sure. Maybe a little...but I'll be fine, even if I'm not right now. Thanks, Mona.
15th-Nov-2008 04:40 am (UTC)
[info]onceahuman
You can thank the faulty security for that... That's the 2nd time this has happened.
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